


You Can't Learn To Fly On The Way Down

by erenwrites



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence - Iron Man 3, Iron Man 3 Spoilers, Multi, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Survivor Guilt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5998834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenwrites/pseuds/erenwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve knew <em>exactly</em> how Tony felt. He had seen someone he loved fall to their death before his eyes. He had been unable to save them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Learn To Fly On The Way Down

Pepper looked at Tony, horror etched into her eyes. "Why aren't you doing anything?!" She screamed, pain twisting her features in agony. Tony reached even further, his arm cramping. "I can't reach you, Pep, you've got to let go and I can catch you!"

The redhead got a strange look in her eye. "No you can't, Tony. You never can and you never will."

She let go anyway. Tony's eyes widened in surprise and horror and he reached, and he _touched_ her, but it was a brush of the fingers before he was looking at her body lifelessly flopping into the lapping flames and rubble. 

He stared down for a minute, feeling his heart just _hurt_. 

"Tony." A voice said from behind him. Tony whirled around and gasped at the sight of Pepper, glaring at him. She looked at him like he was the most repulsive, disgusting thing she had ever seen. Like he was a monster- like he was a murderer. Which he was. 

"Pepper..." He whispered, about to apologize for previously killing her, but he didn't get the chance when Pepper reached out and pushed him over the edge. He gasped. "What-?" Before falling and feeling the breath rush out of his lungs as he was consumed by the fires that had just consumed Pepper. 

"Tony!" 

Was that Pepper, again?!

"Tony, wake up!" That didn't sound like Pepper... it sounded like... like... Steve?

Tony jolted up from his sleep, reaching out for Pepper and falling off the couch and onto the floor with a thump. "Ughhh..." He groaned, sitting up and blinking the nightmare away. They were a constant reminder that Tony had failed to save the one person he couldn't live without. 

He groaned again. "Dammit... _dammit_..." He mumbled, realizing that indeed, Pepper was dead and gone, and she had been for weeks.

"Tony... hey, you up?" That was the great and godly Captain of all of fucking America, just fan-fucking-tastic, just what Tony fucking needed after waking up from a nightmare. Just perfect, just great. Tony rolled his eyes. "Yup. I'm up. Why are you here, again?" 

Steve sounded concerned. "Because the Avengers all moved into this tower a few weeks ago. Or do you mean literally here right now? I'm here right now because you were having a nightmare and I'm pretty sure it had to do with Pepper, again, and I needed you to wake up."

Tony rubbed his forehead. He did not have the _fucking_ time for this. "What do you need? Shield upgrade? Suit advancement? I'll get it done in a minute just give me a second."

"Tony... I didn't need an upgrade, I needed you to be okay. Which you aren't."

That made the mechanic sit up, completely confused. "I'm fine, okay Cap? Just a nightmare, okay?" Tony slowly got up and groaned again. "Why are you still here, anyway? I'm up, I'm fine, leave me alone or whatever. Go help a cat down a tree or a little old lady cross the street or whatever you do."

Steve gently put a hand on Tony's shoulder.

"I heard Miss Potts fell."

And _ouch_. 

Tony felt the air rush out of his lungs again, once more, like he had been punched in the gut. God. He gave a scowl/smile. "Yup, thanks for the reminder, Stevie." Steve sighed. "That's not what I meant. I'm just saying, Pepper fell to her... death. Yeah... well, I know how you feel."

Tony blinked, but kept his face neutral. There was a long, long pause, until Steve honestly wondered if Tony had fallen asleep again. Finally the mechanic spoke. "Yeah, okay. Sure, it's exactly the same. Oh my god. Twinsies. I feel so much better now. God. Thanks for showing me the world, Aladdin."

Before Steve could ask who 'Aladdin' was, Tony continued. "I'm sure you know how I feel, Captain America. I'm absolutely sure, except I'm _not_ , because _you don't fucking know how I feel_ , okay?! Fuck off!" 

Steve leaned back into the couch cushions. 

"Actually, I do. Tony... let me just... okay. His name was Buc-James. His name was James and he was like my brother. Something went wrong and we were on a train and I couldn't save him and he fell to his death in front of my eyes."

It came out faster than Steve thought it would, and it didn't really seem like it fit. Such a short summary of what had happened really didn't compare to the full story, but Steve wasn't sure it was a good idea to tell all the details- for his sake and for Tony's. Triggers and all. It still didn't sound the same, but the mechanic seemed to understand.

In fact, Tony was crying. 

Tony had sat on the couch and he was nearly sobbing into his hands. 

Steve stared for a moment before cautiously putting an arm around Tony's hunched back. Tony completely crumpled into Steve's lap, turning into a sobbing crying wreck. "Oh my god, she's gone, Steve, she's gone... oh god..." He whispered quietly, grabbing fist-fulls of Steve's shirt and curling into a ball. Steve smiled. 

It worked.

Tony called him Steve.

Tony had taken off a few of his masks.

It really wasn't a big leap, but it was a small step, and it was the furthest Steve had ever seen Tony get to his actual, real _emotions_ , so it was a start. They sat like that for hours, Steve practically hugging a mourning Tony Stark, who was nearly asleep.

Before sleep claimed the mechanic he lightly tugged on Steve's shirt and mumbled for a bit. "Hey... sorry about James. You know, Pepper is the only reason I'm not in jail... or dead... without her I'm not going to last a week but that's alright I guess. And, hey, Steve- don't tell anyone I'm so upset about this. Gotta keep up the act, ya'know?" 

Steve's eyes widened in surprise. He supposed Tony was emotionally drained and exhausted from letting out so many feelings- it was probably making his tongue looser. Otherwise he definitely wouldn't be saying that. Steve nodded quickly. "Of course, Tony. Go to sleep."

"...don't go." Tony said finally, although it sounded a bit choked. 

"I won't. I'll be here as long as you need me to be, Tony." Steve responded gently, letting the mechanic get some sleep.

Pepper's death wasn't going to be an easy scar to fade. This one was going to stay a wound a long time. But eventually it would scar over and fade, and eventually Tony Stark would realize that he didn't need Pepper as a crutch, that he could be human, that he could do good without her. 

For now, though, Steve let him sleep.


End file.
